Well, here I am again.

I was dead.

I got killed twice by the same person on my own request.

Funny like hell: D

I died.

I have hit the bottom of despair with all might.

And this time, I said to myself: 'Fuck it! I'm not getting up! I'll be lying here like that till the end of the world, Which actually should be very soon now, According To how I feel "

A week passed ...

And another one ...

Couldn't cry more tears ...



And yet again ...


I got up.


I needed food.


So I fed myself. Slowly at first with soft stuff ... after two weeks not eating it was a bit risky.

Then I fed my soul too.

For the first time I fed my soul.

For myself.

And only now I can finally understand that I was simply loving too much, and not enough.

Too much love for others, not enough for myself.

And now I can laugh, like I've never laught before.

And there is the only one 'but' ...

When I think about that last guy I feel disgusted. How, on Earth, could I do this to myself and be with someone, who has even less respect for me, then I had ?


He can be angel for everybody else, but he treated me like an asshole and he will always remain an asshole to me.